11,11.15,15.4Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one:0,0.1,1.7(0You have to hollow out the head.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why won't they hire blondes as pharmacists:0,0.1,1.7(0They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Hear about the blonde that got an AM RADIO:0,0.1,1.7(0It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4What happened to the blonde ice hockey team:0,0.1,1.7(0They drowned during Spring Training.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence:0,0.1,1.7(0To see what was on the other side.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4How did the blonde die drinking milk:0,0.1,1.7(0The cow stepped on her.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4How did the blonde burn her nose:0,0.1,1.7(0Bobbing for French fries.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why do blondes have more fun:0,0.1,1.7(0They're easier to amuse.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer:0,0.1,1.7(0Frosted flakes.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why can't blondes put in light bulbs:0,0.1,1.7(0They keep breaking them with their hammers.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air:0,0.1,1.7(0She missed.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear:0,0.1,1.7(0Data transfer.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children:0,0.1,1.7(0Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead:0,0.1,1.7(0She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why did the blonde ask her friends to save burned-out light bulbs:0,0.1,1.7(0She needed them for the darkroom she was building.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4Why are Asians so smart:0,0.1,1.7(0No blondes.7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde:0,0.1,1.7(0You get to park in the Handicapped Zone. 7)1,1.11,11.
11,11.15,15.4What do you call a brunette between two blonde's?:0,0.1,1.7(0Interpreter.7)1,1.11,11.
1,1.0412401,1. 8Old Is When 1,1.0412401,1. 11An "all nighter" means not getting up to go pee! 1,1.0412401,1. 8Old Is When 1,1.0412401,1.
4<----------just one of my12 $calc($findfile( %btkplayfindfolder,*.wav,0) + $findfile( %btkplaymp3folder,*.mp3,0) ) 4songs, I'm getting there!!
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P9,1 Honey, I Formatted the Kid!1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P9,1 Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P8,1 When all else fails, read the instructions.1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P4,1 Computers will never replace human stupidity.1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P4,1 I just wish my mouth had a backspace key!!1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P9,1 I haven't lost my mind..I have a back-up somewhere!1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P9,1 It said "Insert disk 3.." but only 2 fit in the drive!1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P9,1 <4-8-0-11-7-0 The information went data way 7-11-0-8-4-9>1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P9,1 Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P8,1 File not found. Should I fake it? 0(4Y/N0)1,1.
8,8c1,1.5,5.1,1.8COMPUTERS1,1.5,5.1,1.8,8P4,1 Error:9 Keyboard not attached. Press 0F1 9to continue.1,1.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 Honey, I Formatted the Kid!15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 When all else fails, read the instructions.15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9844,15 Computers will never replace human stupidity.15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9844,15 I just wish my mouth had a backspace key!!15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 I haven't lost my mind..I have a back-up somewhere!15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 It said "Insert disk 3.." but only 2 fit in the drive!15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 <4-8-0-11-7-0 The information went data way 7-11-0-8-4-9>15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9841,15 File not found. Should I fake it? 0(4Y/N0)15,15.
4,1891,1C0COMPUTERS1,1P9844,15 Error:9 Keyboard not attached. Press 0F1 9to continue!15,15.
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 You know how most packages say "Open here".. What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 Do fish get cramps after eating? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 Did you know that peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 Did you know a shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 Did you know that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p2,7 If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 
2,2c8,7*92o98*4*8*92o98*2,2p12,10 When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117118,1 If you'll regret it in the morning..sleep late!! 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117119,1 If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of house payments. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,171171113,1 If you are what you eat...I must be cheap, fast and easy!! 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117118,1 If you can't blind them with science, baffle them with "Bull Dust" 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117117,1 I wouldn't be broke if the voices in my head paid rent. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117110,1 I have kleptomania. But whenever it gets bad, I take something for it. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,171171113,1 I have a photographic memory. 0Unfortunately, it no longer offers same day service. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117118,1 Hear no evil,4 see no evil,9 speak no evil,0 have no fun. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117119,1 Follow your dream!4 Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117114,1 Eagles may soar, 8but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 
11,17117111,1C7HUMOUR1,1P11,17117118,1 A day without sunshine is like, 11you know, NIGHT!! 
11,11C13,111131113SAYINGS1113111311,11P0,1 Always forgive your enemies..they hate that!! 
11,11C13,111131113SAYINGS1113111311,11P0,1 Take my advice...I'm not using it! 
11,11C13,111131113SAYINGS1113111311,11P0,1 Have character....don't be one! 
11,11C13,111131113SAYINGS1113111311,11P0,1 Be yourself. Who else is better qualified? 
8,8.4,101,1C84SAYINGS81,1P048,8.0,1 Always forgive your enemies..they hate that!! 
8,8.4,101,1C84SAYINGS81,1P048,8.0,1 Take my advice...I'm not using it! 
8,8.4,101,1C84SAYINGS81,1P048,8.0,1 Have character....don't be one! 
8,8.4,101,1C84SAYINGS81,1P048,8.0,1 Be yourself. Who else is better qualified? 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p0,2 Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p11,2 Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself. 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p13,2 Politics: Poli (many) - tics (blood sucking parasites). 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p0,2 The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity. 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p13,2 Who puts the "Thin Ice" sign out there? 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p11,2 You're twisted and sick; I like that in a person! 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p11,2 Why is it called tourist season if you can't hunt them? 
11,11c13,21180811811808111311,11p0,2 Why do Kamikaze Pilots where helmets? 
15,15.2 My wife says I ignore her, at least thats what I think she said ? 15,15.
15,15.2 Keep on smiling, it makes people wonder what you are up too !! 15,15.
15,15.2 When in doubt just smile and nod.. 15,15. 
15,15.2 You know your getting old when, you stop too think and forget too start again.. 15,15.
15,15.2 My wife took off with my best friend, man I sure miss him. 15,15.
15,15.2 If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you even tried. 15,15.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to computers when: 1 All the household pets mimic the soundblaster card for attention.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to computers when: 1 Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hangout".
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling" at you.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You are on the phone a minute & need to do something else & say "BRB" or "BBL".
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You are on the phone a minute & need to do something else & say "BRB" or "BBL".
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You go into withdrawals during dinner.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say good-bye to everyone in a chat room.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You stop speaking in full sentences.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  You sign on & immediately get 10 ICQ's from people who have you on their list.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore button handy.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to computers when: 1  You don't know where the time has gone.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to computers when: 1  You type faster than you think.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You can now type over 70 wpm.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it  sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".
8,8.4You know you're addicted to thet net when: 1  All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 56K...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1 When you turn off your modem, you get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1 You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You laugh at people with 14.4 baud modems.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  Your friends no longer send you e-mail; they just log on to your IRC  channel.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  Your modem isn't working, and after a few minutes you begin to sweat, your hands start to tremble...
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  When your modem is broken, you pick up the phone and hum modem signals to communicate with your ISP
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to computers when: 1  Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to computers when: 1  Your son tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  You forget what year it is.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  You don't know the gender of more than three of your closest friends because they have neutral nicknames.
8,8.4You know you're addicted to the net when: 1  You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number."
8,8.4You know you're addicted to IRC when: 1  Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :)
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why do  you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk I have a work station...... 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If Fed EX and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 How come you never hear about gruntled employees? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 I believe the only time the world beats apath to my door is when I'm in the bathroom. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 What WAS the best thing before sliced bread? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Before they invented drawing boards, what'd they go back to? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? (algae bra) 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? 15,15.
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 He was a bold man who first ate an oyster. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink & drive? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 I have a great diet.  You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Don't spend three dollars to dry clean a shirt.  Donate it to the Salvation Army instead.  They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.  Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why do they put the little "on/off" words on a light switch? If the light's on, you can see that it's on. If the light's off, it's too dark to see them. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? 15,15. 
15,15.4Things that make you go hmmm: 1 Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? 15,15. 
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,281. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,282. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 2.1 or higher."
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,283. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,284. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,285. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,286. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,287. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,288. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
11,4 Top signs of Net addiction:8,289. Your hard drive crashes. You phone your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem. And you succeed.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Your last name stays put.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 The garage is all yours.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Wedding plans take care of themselves.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Chocolate is just another snack.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can be president.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Car mechanics tell you the truth.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can open all your own jars.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's "just too icky".
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Same work...more pay.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Wrinkles add character.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 One mood, ALL the time.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can leave the motel bed unmade.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can kill your own food.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me".
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You're not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You almost never have strap problems in public.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You don't have to shave below your neck.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, December 24 in 45 minutes.
12,11 It's Great To be a MAN! 11,12 The world is your urinal.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,281. Yes = No.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,282. No = Yes.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,283. Maybe = No.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,284. We need... = I want.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,285. I am sorry = you'll be sorry.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,286. We need to talk = I need to complain.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,287. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,288. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,289. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2810. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2811. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2812. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2813. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2814. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2815. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2816. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2817. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
12,8WOMAN'S ENGLISH :8,2818. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,281. I am hungry = I am hungry.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,282. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,283. I am tired = I am tired.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,284. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,285. I love you = Let's have sex now.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,286. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,287. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,288. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,289. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,2810. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,2811. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,2812. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,2813. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 15 minutes.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,2814. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
12,8MAN'S ENGLISH :8,2815. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
8,8.1 Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.8,8.
15,15.4 Have you ever wondered...  1Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?15,15.
8,8.4 Good Country Songs:  1I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.8,8.
15,15.4 Bumper Stickers for Women: 1Don't upset me! I'm running out of things to break.15,15. 
8,8.4 Have you ever wondered...  1When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?8,8.
15,15.4 Quotes: 1I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.15,15.
8,8.4 Helpful Hints Relieve sunburn. 1Lightly rub white vinegar; you may have to reapply.8,8.
8,8.1 Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. ...I think I've forgotten this before!!8,8.
15,15.4 Have you ever wondered...  1If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?15,15.
8,8.1 Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of reason.8,8.
8,8.4 Have you ever wondered... 1If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?8,8.
15,15.4 Helpful Hints Relieve dry and itchy skin: 1Add 2 tablespoons of vinegar to bath water.15,15.
8,8.1 I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
15,15.4 Have you ever wondered...  1Military Intelligence?15,15.
8,8.1 I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.8,8.
15,15.1 Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.15,15.
8,8.1 It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.8,8.
15,15.4 SIMPLE NEEDS: 1All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.15,15.
8,8.1 For maid service, push button. If no answer - do it yourself!!!8,8.
15,15.4 Have you ever wondered...  1If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?15,15.
8,8.1 I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.8,8.
15,15.4 Have you ever wondered...  1If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?15,15.
8,8.4 One nice thing about egotists: 1they don't talk about other people.8,8.
15,15.4 Have you ever wondered...  1Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?15,15.
8,8.1 One good thing about alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.8,8.
15,15.1 Do you ever wonder if flowers sniff us back?15,15.
8,8.4 Signs You Have A Drinking Problem. 1You drink to get over a hangover.8,8.
15,15.1 Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it7!!15,15.
8,8.4 Hints for kids: 1You can only holler MOM four times after that they lose it7!!!8,8.
15,15.1 It's understandable that computer stocks would lead the plunge. Computers have perfected the art of crashing7!!15,15.
8,8.1 I need someone really bad. Are you really bad7?8,8.
15,15.4 SAYINGS: 1Attitude is everything! Pick a good one..15,15.
8,8.4 A bilingual politician has an advantage over his opponent: 1he can lie in two languages..8,8.
15,15.1 The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.15,15.
8,8.1 You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me7!!8,8.
15,15.4 PMS STANDS FOR: 1Psychotic Mood Shift Next One In 3 Seconds..15,15.
8,8.4 SAYINGS: 1Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?8,8.
15,15.1 Lists Updated Daily4......... 1Or At least When I remember to do it4 .......15,15. 
8,8.4 Cut and paste filenames:7 1. 1Highlight with mouse.7 2. 1Ctrl-v to paste.8,8. 
15,15.1 Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.15,15.
8,8.4 SAYINGS: 1Live by what you trust..not by what you fear..8,8.
15,15.1 I can only please one person a day, and today ain't your day... (tomorrow ain't looking good either).15,15.
9,9.6 SAYINGS: 6,6.9The noblest revenge is to forgive..6,6.
8,8.1 The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering the attitudes of their minds.8,8.
15,15.1 Nothing energizes a person more than being in the company of positive-minded people..15,15.
9,9.6 SAYINGS: 6,6.9Take my advice...I'm not using it7!6,6.
8,8.1 It's not the size that counts, it's the, umm, actually it is the size..8,8.
9,9.6 SAYINGS: 6,6.9One taco short of a combination plate.6,6.
15,15.1 Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs7!!15,15.
8,8.1 I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.8,8.
15,15.1 Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes15,15.
6,6.9 You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.6,6.
8,8.1 Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.8,8.
15,15.1 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip..15,15.
8,8.4 Remember, if you procrastinate today, you may have nothing to do tomorrow..8,8.
9,9.6 How do you get a one armed newphie out of a tree, 6,6.9wave too them7!!!6,6.
15,15.1 Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.15,15.
